Do you recall the childhood dreams in which you could accomplish impossible things you’d love to do but couldn’t? Not to worry—my column hasn’t turned into a therapy section—but I am interested to find out if we shared any fancies. I remember three such dreams and recently considered whether any of them would prove useful in the grown-up world of meeting professionals.
My first dream was to become invisible—based on the innocent desires of an 8 year old who wanted to steal homemade cookies from the kitchen—yet, to be honest, the dreams I’m thinking of now are rather less innocent. So, based on this (and the fact that exploring the professional benefits of invisibility may not be entirely aligned with the editorial guidelines of One+), let’s set it aside for now.
My second dream was to be able to fly. I still recall running at full speed flapping my arms and being genuinely confused as to why I didn’t sweep up into the higher branches of the majestic oak tree that sat at the bottom of the garden. And while it would be tremendously useful to ask delegates to fly Superman-style to meetings, my MPI membership may be revoked on mental health grounds if I encouraged readers to do so, the aim of which would be the right to add an MHF (mastered human flight) certification to their professional resumés.
My final dream was to anticipate events or read minds in some way, and I regularly tried to predict the next song on the radio, guess the playing card I’d randomly pick from a deck and prophesize the number in my sister’s head.
But, after recently observing a National Psychic Association Annual Conference billboard, I must admit to some skepticism regarding psychic abilities. The fact that the advertisement detailed the full date and time puzzled me somewhat. Surely it should have simply read “Psychic Conference. You Know Where, You Know When.” I predict you’re skeptical about psychic abilities too, so let me focus on mind reading instead.
Now, I understand if you want to put mind reading into the same “impossible dream” group as invisibility and human flight, but unless you know something I don’t—in which case you should tell a scientist rather quickly and retire with the millions you’d make—the former is the only one that we use daily and can in fact develop.
Consider this: Have you ever mistrusted someone because they didn’t make eye contact, claimed someone had a false smile or—one that I know too well—20 minutes into dinner felt your date was wishing they’d stayed home alone watching Ugly Betty?
The fact is, consciously or otherwise, we are continuously playing the guessing game and reading other people, and we do not have to claim to have special abilities to do it. Much of what you see mind readers do is simply the result of years of practice.
Malcolm Gladwell discusses the work of two fascinating psychologists, Paul Ekman and Wallace Friesen, in his bestselling book about human thinking, Blink. Ekman and Wallace’s work catalogued 3,000 different facial expressions that appeared to give away certain emotions regardless of gender or culture. Gladwell also cites an example of a scientist who claims to be able to predict the success of a marriage based on watching the couple interact for just 15 minutes. Add to this the fact that practitioners of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) will tell you that someone’s eye movements, language and physiology gives away all you need to know about how they are feeling, and it seems a wonder that we have to ask anyone anything, ever.
Of course, things aren’t that simple, but the idea that some of us can actually develop a sense for what others are thinking seems remarkable and a fantastically useful business tool we should be coached in. There are plenty of training courses out there, but you won’t see the words ESP or mindreading in their titles. Instead, investigate courses in body language, physiology or even elements of NLP.
Contact me with comments/suggestions, but for now I’ll combine a bit of positivity with psychic ability and make a prediction—your next meeting is going to be fantastic!
JON BRADSHAW presents and trains internationally on a variety of subjects in the field of human behavior and performance. He is also director of business development for IMEX, the European Meetings and Events Exhibition and can be can be contacted via www.equinoxmotivation.com.
